Cousin jokes
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
POV: me laughing at my friend or cousin when they fall flat or trip on something
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
It's not my fault my cousin's hot ;) YEE YEE
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
What is harder than steel?
My cousin at the family reunion.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.