New Cousin Jokes

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

My cousin really loves baseball He always Brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors

I took my sister and And cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy who my dad‘s friend has connections with I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized, We got what we wanted.

What does sex and food have in common My sister makes it better than my cousin

What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?

At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.

I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married. The things you do for your cousins!

Celebrating Mother's day is confusing says my cousin

Damn, the guy who made the Whip/ Nae Nae song really made his cousin go Silento

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500. The first replied:"For 500€? Of course!" The second said:"I'd do it for free!" The third replied:"I would even give her 200€!" The fourth replied:"With my ex? Never!

Every time my cousin and i we settle it out with our game a so we play rock paper sissors 😂🤣🤣

I could tell my cousin you are so anoying but she told me first so we both said it at the same time 🫣🤣😂

DISCLAIMER! MY COUSIN TOLD ME THIS:

"I for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. Its been awhile since we had a presidential assassination."

My cousin: “how’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when ur at softball practice?!” Me: “lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

*my mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she recieved it from her cousin* (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

*Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed of the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile* (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ⁠◡⁠ಠ

Roses are red, Violets are blue, you slept with my cousin but I did too.

My cousin’s friend spelled “rasist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”