Country jokes
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Where is Colorado?
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.
What are some red flags?
Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.