Country jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.

What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?

A foreign exchange student.

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.

Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

Texas 😂😂😂😂

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, flags big plus.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.

It's a RUF life in Africa.

When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?

European.

So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!

The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."

The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."

Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.

Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.

In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.

In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.

His father pointed at a map of North America.

"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.

The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.

"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"

The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.

"Where is Germany again, Father?"

He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.

Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."

"Yes?"

"Has Hitler seen this map?"