Country

Country Jokes

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks “what’s the purpose of your visit?”... “I’m going to shoot a pilot” is never a good answer

Literally every movie:

"I love you" "I love u too"

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes u!" Him: "wtf I have a grilfriend sorry not sorry" His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country". 😶

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none.

I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

I can’t remember if I already said this or not I might of already said this also this is a true story. So I’m walking into a store in Amish country and there’s this guy with a bear trap then my moms friend says this guys gonna catch some bears then the Amish guy stop looks around and whispers “it’s for democrats”

THE REASON WHY WOMEN HAVE SUFFERED LONGER THEN MEN IS BECAUSE MEN ARE USING WOMEN AND ABUSING THEM AS TOOLS AND PROPERTY WHICH THEY AREN’T DURING WWll WOMEN WERE USED EVERYDAY BY EVIL MEN FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR WIVES AND MUSILM WOMEN ARE BEING RAPED, WOMEN CHILDREN ARW BEING RAPED EVERYDAY WHILE YOU FUCKING TURDS OF HUMAN SHIT ARE MAKING JOKES OF ISSUES THAT NEED TO STOP SO STO WITH THE HOMOPHOBIA, ISLAMPHOBIA, BIPHOBIA AND ALL THE OTHER PHOBIAS MAKE SEXUAL HARASSMENT, ASSAULT AND RAPE VICTIMS VOICES HEARD WE WILL NOT STAY SILENT BECAUSE OF THIS SHITTY APP! ALSO GOD CREATED WOMEN EQUALY AS MEN DO NOT MISTREAT YOUE SISTERS, MOTHERS, AUNGS, MOTHER IN LAWS HOPE ALL YOU RAPISTS SEXUAL ABUSERS, SEXUAL ASSAULTERS ROT IN HELL WHERE YOU DESERVE TO BE NOT IN THIS COUNTRY OR ANY OTHER PLACE HELL IS WHERE YOU BELONG 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿

An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country”. The Asian man says “I’m here travelling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of friend rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong

President Joe Biden was jogging though some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging though Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much, I'm gunna give you boys a reward for saving my life, and asks them what their names were and what they wanted, the first boy said my name's Willy and i want to go to Disneyland and the president said no problem and I'll take you personally and the 2nd boy said my name's Roman and i want a Autographed pair or Air Jorden Nikes and the president said no troubles at all, and the 3rd boy says my name's Little Johnny, and i want a power wheelchair with a awesome stero and killer wheels, and the present says, you don't look Handicapped Little Johnny and Little Johnny said, I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who i saved, i will be🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣