Country jokes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite place to visit?
"Hee-Heegypt!"
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
U.S.A: No Queen?
England: No towers?
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
Why are you sad? Because you are in Morocco, ha ha.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.