Country jokes
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
Why is there more water than water, because water is water.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.