Country jokes
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
Why is there more water than water, because water is water.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb.
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
Your hairline goes back to China.
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.