Construction jokes

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

The shovel is a ground breaking invention.

*Slaps and laughs*

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?

A: Because they were fencing.

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family.

Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.

Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"

How do you sink an American battleship?

Have the French build it.

Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?

You pick it up off the street.

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Twin Towers? No Jenga!

Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?

Dam fools.

You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.

But I also think I screwed it up.

A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.

What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.