Construction jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.
Twin Towers? No Jenga!
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.