Construction jokes
Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.
I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.
What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?
A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
We have invented the spade! This is groundbreaking!
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
Don't be racist, I am a building.
Twin Towers: fucked.
It was fake.
BE RACIST.