Construction jokes
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.