Construction jokes
I have always hated stairs; they’re always up to something. 👻
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Low quality
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
A burrito walked off a building.
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?
A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how many you throw.