Construction jokes
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What is Donald Trump's favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Yo hairline so ugly even Bob the Builder said he couldn't fix it.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.
What the hell dam, hell dam?
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
Which room has no doors and no windows?
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
I said to the fish, "I have dam."
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!