Construction jokes
Which room has no doors and no windows?
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
Why did the stairs move?
Because it was up to something!
Bob the builder.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
What happens when two walls meet?
They are cornered.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Where is the wall's favorite place to meet his friends?
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What is a difference between a tree, tree house that yyyyy?
Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?