Conflict jokes
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
Science flew us to the moon.
Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.
Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.
And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.
Osama Bin Laden is his name.
Crashing planes is his game.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist!
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.