Conflict jokes
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"
Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"
Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"
*Insert me starting a war in the comments*
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
Roses are red,
Lilies are white,
One race ends up dead
And the other ends up bright.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!