Conflict jokes

Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.

Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

"You cannot win a war without a war."

-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*

Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.

I mean, he just blew up overnight!

Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.

Russia: "Silence."

Ukraine: Help...

What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!

Why can't weapons play baseball?

Because they need to get to home base.

Why did the terrorist not go undercover?

Because he blew it!

Anne Frank is still the Nazi hide-and-go-seek champion.

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!