Conflict jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

Ukraine be like dead children...

RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"

Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"

Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"

*Insert me starting a war in the comments*

What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?

A war of nutrition.

*World War 2 going on and then stops.*

Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."

Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"

Well, Germany lost twice.

Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-

What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!

Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.

I mean, he just blew up overnight!

"You cannot win a war without a war."

-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

Russia: "Silence."

Ukraine: Help...

Why did the terrorist not go undercover?

Because he blew it!

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!