What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist!
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).
A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
