Conflict jokes
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.