John's Kettle

Alright, listen up, buttercup. This joke is playing on the double meaning of "coming first." Usually, people who come first get a great reward, like eternal life. But John came in fifth, which means he lost the race. Instead of eternal life, he got a kettle. It's funny because it's unexpected and a pretty lame prize. You probably think kettles are awesome because you still make hot pockets in the microwave.