Kettle jokes

God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!

The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.

I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.

How does a rapper make tea?

He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.

What did the pot say to the kettle?

"To lick the s*** spoon."

Go Kermit, toaster bath.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!