Competition Jokes

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.

Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.

1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!

Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?

A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆

I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.

How did the retard win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?

Because it never runs out of juice.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?

Because nobody misses them.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"

Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.

I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!