Competition jokes
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
A limbo champion walks into a bar.