Competition jokes

The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.

The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"

The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

"Most Deadly Sport"

Playing chicken with a train!

Why can't orphans go on game shows?

You need a family member.

Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

Bend over and spell run.

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

What games would deaf people not be good at?

Simon says and Musical chairs.

Why did the tiger lose at poker?

Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.

And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.