Competition jokes
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
Ball so hard! 😂🤣
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"