My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
