Competition jokes

What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool? Posiedown.

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?

It was Eight-Nothing.

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?

The wiener.

What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?

Gasar.

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?

Cross-country.

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

Why did the cheetah get disqualified?

Because he was a cheetah, duh!

The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.

I wonder if [I] would have rekt Hitler in a 1v1 build battle in Fortnite.

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.