Competition jokes

Bend over and spell run.

If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.

P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.

"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.

And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Rock, paper, lesbians.

Who's the best at musical chairs?

Stephen Hawking.

Why do cheetahs always win?

Because they cheat!

Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.

Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

How did the retard win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.

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We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.

What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?

"Use the horse!"

A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.

Playing a game called 7-Up.

Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?

Teacher: It's cheating!

Student: No! It's the object of the game.