Competition jokes

Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.

Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

How did the retard win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.

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We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.

What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?

"Use the horse!"

A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.

Playing a game called 7-Up.

Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?

Teacher: It's cheating!

Student: No! It's the object of the game.

What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

A depressing but satisfying victory.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?

It was Eight-Nothing.

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.