Comparison jokes
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.