Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
I ass big ass you :-)
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Tada mun ang hai jiwain taage naal khota bania Honda ae.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.