Comparison jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
what's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop up an onion.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.