*I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.― Steven Wright
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
Some dude called me a tool
So later I got hammered and nailed his gf.
Guess he was right :/
credit to funnydude from laugh factory website lol
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx
You really can't call Starlin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die
========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -
"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump.... what the fuck up with that dude, man ?
"Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !)
. . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for bein' fucked up, for instance ....
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE "HUMP"
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO HELL BITCH !! ....
HA!HA!HA!HA ! YESSS !!
.... well boys and girls, that's gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse !"
......(splort !, plop !, drip !) ....... OOOOPS ! 'snif, snif' ........
..... ewwwwww !!
(audience growing uneasy and unruly)
"Fuhhk ! ... I better go now , 'cause I just went ! ... ha! ha! ha! ...... Yikes !!
GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN ! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY !
(curtain drops)
(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', fists fuckin', guns poppin', blood pumpin')
"OH LORDY !!... I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,
... AND ARMAGITTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE !!"
(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi ............ with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew ! ............ Amen. ==============================
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
cooper is funny
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult she had kids. When they were old enough she told them you could be whatever you want...
Why does Steven hawkings only do one liners?
Cause he can’t do stand up
I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣
Everyone gangster till Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
Who tells the best chicken jokes? Comedi-hens!
Me: I want to be a stand up comedian Friend: You have to be able to stand up
where do you find the best comedians? in the funny farm!
I maybe not that gppd with puns on this site but I got a SKELE-TON of jokes. Hey what's the matter pal, is there something crawling UNDER your skin
why didn't the Japanese guy a high five? logan paul left him hanging
