Comedian jokes

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.

Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?

A: Hearing Aids.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.

Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?

What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?

I haven't been caught.

Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?

He was actually quite funny...

He just blew the delivery.

(I'll show myself out).

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.

Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.

A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."

Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Joem.

Joem who?

Joem Ama.

Sydney Drake is hot. ⛓🖤🥺😩

I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.