Come jokes

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

What goes up but doesn't come down?

Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?

The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.

There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.

Why did they only come home with 3 fish?

(Answer)

There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.

If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?

"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod