Come jokes

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.

I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.

I'm going to leave now, so bye.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.