Come jokes
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!
Memes
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.
I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.
I'm going to leave now, so bye.
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.
So you mom call she side when Covin come home?
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
What did the one tower say to the other?
"Here comes the airplane!"