Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Come Jokes
#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
Bored come talk v rah.
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.
