Come jokes

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.

What did the one tower say to the other?

"Here comes the airplane!"

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.