Come jokes

"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."

What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?

(Insulin)

"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!

What comes after 611? 711.

What comes after that? 811.

What comes after that? George W. Bush.

For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.