Come jokes

What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?

(Insulin)

Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"