Come Jokes

I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."

what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?

showing them the ropes.

What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

FRIEND no so much " Hey wan to come to my house ?" sended lonly ORPHAN/ trump " want to come to my orphaige? sended

FRIEND not so much " dude im blocking you!" sended

Lonly orphan " :( sended

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it Leaves and never comes back

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.

Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!

You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

up into the sky so very far here comes Dr. Seuss ALLAHU AKBAR, at the ripe old age of 97 he committed 9/11

Why is Santa's sack so big?

He only comes once a year

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover so one of her friends asks when was the last time you had an orgasm? she replies 3 days ago dad comes bursting in i KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT

What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes? Family comes first

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”