Come jokes

The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"

What comes after 611? 711.

What comes after that? 811.

What comes after that? George W. Bush.

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.

Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(

Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"

Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."