What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5 year olds face
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Dr. Seuss Died September 24 but that was a lie Dr. Seuss when he was 97 he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes Dr. Seuss allahuakbar”
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
why do not air come down,I think gravity didn't like the facebook page of air.('''_ ''')
Did you hear the joke about helen keller? neither did she. Did you see that one coming? neither did she.
(shes blind and deaf)
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it "I'll get you some food once we get off"
How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
I didn't come into the prostitution business... It came into me.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing they come and leave easlily
Why Were The Twin Towers Scared At Dinner?
Because There Mom Said "Here Comes The Airplane!"
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously I'm not joking
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favourite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
