Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss jokes

9/11

  • Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.

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    Plane

  • Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”

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    Monkey

  • Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

    One fell off and bumped his head.

    The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

    “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

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  • Bathroom

  • This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

    So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

    The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

    So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

    When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

    The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

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    Addiction

  • A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

    He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

    He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

    Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

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