Drug Cartel jokes

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?

Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.