Come jokes
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.