children's jokes

How do Chinese people name their children?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.

She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

What's yellow and can't float?

A school bus full of children.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?

Kentucky Fried Children!

What's it called when you eat those same babies?

Finger Lickin' Good!

Children are like farts.

You can only tolerate your own.

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.

"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"

What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.

What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?

A: Garry Glitter's boots.

Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.

What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.