children's jokes
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
How many children does Explain Bear have?
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
I put the D in Children.