children's jokes

What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?

They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.

Why does Santa not have any children?

He only cums once a year.

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?

The Jackson 4.

What is long, yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What is an orphan’s least favorite children’s game?

House.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A: A bus full of children.

Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.

And they're off!

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of children.

Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

(Obtained by running over 69 children.)