children's jokes
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Which sex position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly. “Correct,” says the teacher. The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts. “Correct again,” says the teacher. The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep. This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?” Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.