children's jokes
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
When the school lets you near children again...
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
What is an orphan’s least favorite children’s game?
House.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."