Child jokes

Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"

Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.

What is yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"

Q: What did I find on my son's search history?

A: Where is the nearest gun shop?

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

Does a midget count as an orphan?

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They have no home to run to.

What is an orphan's favorite game?

Solitaire.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.