Child

Child jokes

Ex

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Orphan

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

Memes

Swing

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

Orphan

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

Love

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Toy

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

Mister

What do you call a genderless child?

It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.

Adoption

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

Orphan

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

Orphan

What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."

Spanking

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

Orphan

Why don't orphans play baseball?

They don't have a home to run back to.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Orphan

Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?

Because they can't make themselves at home.