Child jokes
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!