Child jokes
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
my son
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.