Child jokes
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
Memes
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.