Child jokes
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can never find home.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.