Child jokes

Why can orphans not play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find home.

"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

He could not find home.

Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.

Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?

In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.

"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."

What do you call a child version of Batman?

The Raped Crusader.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.

It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

Why can orphans not play bingo?

Because they can't get a full house.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.

Teacher: Who?

Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!

Why can’t orphans ride bikes?

Because they don’t have parent supervision.

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.