David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Ur adopted.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
