Child jokes
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.