Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
