Child jokes

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?

There are 206 bones in the human body.

207 when I'm at a nursery.

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause there's no home base...

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...

An orphan.

What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there is no home plate.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Because they return eventually.