Child jokes

What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?

They can both be replaced.

Why are orphans banned from the shop?

No adult to pay for them.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked!

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...

An orphan.

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Because they return eventually.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

Heh, stupid orphan.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Orphans don't get picked.