Child jokes
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home base.
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
What do you call a couple of orphans?
A coupleorphans.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer…
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
"Stupid ass baby."