Child

Child jokes

Orphan

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

Difference

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

Abortion

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?

They're both dangerous to children.

Michael Jackson

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

What’s a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.