Child jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.