Child jokes
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Memes
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Little Johnny died.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."