Child jokes
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home base.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.
Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.