Child jokes
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
HIIIIIIIIIII
I LOVE ORPHANS!
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.