Child jokes
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Baby 🍼
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
An orphan's family photo: empty.
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.