Child jokes
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
1 like = 1 Ukrainian child sent to Russia.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
What do you call an autistic daughter?
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!