Child jokes
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Little Johnny died.
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
What did an orphan say to its father?
Nothing.
Why can't orphans play golf?
Because they can't find home.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!