Child Abuse jokes
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Mickey Mouse? Besides being a disease-carrying rodent, and one a dangerous pedophile, Mickey Mouse can still touch and go near kids.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One, if you throw it hard enough.