Character jokes

What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

What is Forrest Gump’s email password?

1forrest1.

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.

Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.

What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!

"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

"What type of book is it?"

"An autobiography."

Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"

Genie: "Wish granted!"

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

Me: It's an autobiography.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?

A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.