Celebrity jokes

Prince, please talk to me for real...

Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?

Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...

Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?

Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

May our days be abundant, a dance of delight, May I navigate life with courage, taking flight. May our journey be a beauty, a blessing so sweet, May I celebrate friendships, where hearts and souls meet.

May our nights be bright, with laughter and cheer, May we live with love, eliminating every fear. May I grow in kindness, a serenade of grace, May our lives be a marvel, a splendid embrace.

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

"How do celebrities stay cool?"

"They have many fans!"

Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.

How did Princess Diana die?

Giving the glove box head.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I care when my computer crashes.