Celebrity jokes
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
What is found under Michael Jackson's pillow?
Billie's jeans.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
"Addison Rae in bra? Nope, terrible."
Memes
Dwayne the Cock Johnson is the man
Who's Lil John?
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.