Celebrity jokes
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
Memes
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
He sings, he dances, be he also HE HE.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.