Celebrity jokes
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
What is found under Michael Jackson's pillow?
Billie's jeans.
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.