Celebrity jokes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
choi soobin loml
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
Donald Trump is so stupid his fanboys dislike this.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
Mariah Carey is a more legit rapper than rapboat.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!