Celebrity jokes
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Donald Trump is so stupid his fanboys dislike this.
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
Mariah Carey is a more legit rapper than rapboat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.