Celebrity jokes
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Donald Trump is so stupid his fanboys dislike this.
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Memes
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
Dababy in my dickle trickle when eating my pickle.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
Michael farts. Jackson doesn’t.
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
Cameron Boyce
Why did Greg go mad? Because Stephen stalked him.
Chris Brown, More like Chris Brownie hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!