Celebrity jokes
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
He sings, he dances, be he also HE HE.
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂