Celebrity jokes
He sings, he dances, be he also HE HE.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Memes
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.